“Life’s barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you get good at.” -Detective Rust Cohle.
Matthew McConaughey is good at acting. The man knows how to deliver a line and a great Oscar speech. He also plays a mean bongo drum. Let us celebrate the birth of the man who gave us 12 months of tremendous performances in gems like Interstellar, True Detective, Dallas Buyers Club and the most parodied Lincoln car commercial in the history of car commercials. May the McConaugh-ssance continue for years to come.
I had to triple take IMDB this morning. Matt Camden from 7th Heaven—or Barry Watson as his parents named him— turned 39 today. Seriously, I used to get the (Teaching Mrs.) tingles watching this guy every Monday night as the bible thumping Matt Camden on 7th Heaven.
See kids, Barry Watson was the original Taylor Kitsch.
He was the first notable incarnation of John Carter——brooding, dark eyes, shoulder-length Vidal Sassoon-ed hair. Barry was a demi-god back in ’96. I’m not sure why his star did not continue to rise after 7th Heaven left the air, but he was the champion reason why I bought BOP! magazine back in the day. Wherever you are Barry, just know that Taylor Kitsch owes you a round of drinks and pair of sneakers because without your heart-throbbing success, he could’ve never battleshipped his way into America’s heart.
26 years ago on this glorious day God gave us Taylor Hanson. Born in Tulsa, Oklahoma, Taylor is the second child of Diana and Clarke Hanson. The future would prove that Mr. Taylor Hanson would never come second again.
In May of 1997 when Hanson blew up the scene, a young alternative rock loving 14 year old Danger Bowie removed her Tuesday underwear and they were secretly Hanson’s for the keeping. To the chagrine of her mother/supplier, Danger became engulfed in Hanson mania. Isaac, the older brother, with a face he was still growing into, was my absolute favorite. My cat’s pajamas. Pictures of his giant horse head adorned my walls and my heart. Taylor was my best friend Haley’s favorite brother but I would have a secret menage a trois in my head on Saturday night’s with him and Isaac or Ike as I affectionately called him.
Hanson in bubbles
I have no idea where Haley is now and my secret musical tastes only have eyes for the Jonas Brothers, which makes me not only a pedophile but the biggest traitor this side of “MMMBop”. Yet I will never forget the pure raw desire that I felt as I listened to their breakout album “Middle Of Nowhere” . It ignited a disgusting underdeveloped stream of lust, a high that I chase to this day at 26 years old. So I want to say to you Taylor Hanson, one third of the truest group to my heart; You can stop looking for the love because it’s right here. Now please walk away before you get me pregnant because as it turns out you Hansons are some baby making motherfuckers.