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For your Consideration: “Land of the Lost”

Land of the Lost Movie 2009

I know that by now pretty much everyone in America has written off Land of the Lost as the first real flop of the summer, monetarily you may be correct but in actuality you are wrong.  I’ve seen “Land of the Lost” twice theatrically and I’d call it the funniest movie of the summer thus far.

Albeit if you are not a fan of Will Ferrell this could be a tough pill to swallow, well don’t be a tight ass and  allow the sweet comedic executions of  Danny McBride to change your mind. I’ll stop trying to sell you on it in such a political way and speak on the plot for a second.

Dr. Rick Marshall, Ferrell, has become the ass of the quantum physics world because of his wild alternative universe beliefs. He is tracked down by a young ambitious scientist, Holly, who urges him to finish building a device that would allow him to time travel.

After a food coma they hit the road to find the best place from which to test their device and that’s how they come upon Will Stanton, played by the incomparable Danny McBride, a redneck who runs the road side attraction where the time travel device works best. At a certain point in the cave of the roadside attraction the device comes ot life and the trio are propelled into a parallel universe where they meet Chaka,Lonely Island’s Jorma Taccone, a primate king who becomes a part of their motley crew. Then it is on. Full steam ahead. Some amazing unexpected gags and tear inducing laughter follows. I won’t give anything away because I am on an Obama like crusade to redeem this movie and I need your help. Enough pandering, the moral of the story is that you will miss out if you skip this movie. Do you like to laugh? Well what the hell are you waiting for?

Please don’t watch “Year One” it will be a grave mistake, I was there on Sunday and this movie is the more superior of the 2. Danny McBride and Will Ferrell possess more chemistry in their pinky toes than Michael Cera and Jack Black have in their matted unoriginal wigs.

F^%$ Peter Travers and all the Anti-Ferrell/Sandler critics who need explanations for their comedy. Those guys have been entertaining me since I was a kid. I don’t need the constant reminer of the deteriorating world around me, sometimes I need a nicely executed dick joke or a redneck prat to remind me that life is as simple and  funny as it is ridiculous and petty. Watch this movie for the 5 moments when your eyes well with tears from watching them commit to  some oddball behavior in their ridiculous awespiring adventures. Here’s a pic of my McBride for the road:

img-danny-mcbride-1_122649503602.jpg_med_thumb

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I propose you watch “The Proposal”

the proposal

I made my way over to the theater yesterday to experience the sugary romcom goodness of Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock in “The Proposal”. At first one would assume this to be yet another in a string of disposable romantic flicks but hark I tell you, hark! This movie showcases the usual syrupy sweet formula, bitch boss gets in a predicament and underling is forced to help. The movie takes you to the land of cheesiness but never allows you to get off the train. Sandra’s relentlessly bitchy boss is fun to watch coupled with 2 tons of snarky jokes executed with amazing comedic timing by Mr. Reynolds and his ubiquitous abs. The dingy old rom-com formula has been tweaked to near perfection and you’re mostly just excited to be along for the ride.

Sandra Bullock reminds me of why I liked her so much in the first place, she’s not typical and her comedy chops, all slapstick and brilliant in her $2,000 5 inch stilettos. Betty White does an amazing job in the supporting slot, coming close to stealing the movie from Reynolds, but his buff buffness would not allow it. If you’re a dude, enjoy the light comedy and Sandra Bullock’s practically nude shower scene and if you’re a lady then go so you can dream about washing your clothes on Reynolds washboard abs while he strokes your hair and whispers naughty self aware quips in your ear.

Oh and here’s a little eye candy or spank material for all the ladies out there. Thanks for visiting us here at dangerbowie.com, there’s plenty more where this came from. Wink*.

ryan reynolds

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I Love You, Man..Totes Magotes to you.

Paul and Jason at a Rush concert

Paul and Jason at a Rush concert

A few thousand posts ago, I mentioned winning some tickets to the premiere of “I Love You, Man”. Well that premiere came and went and your loyal hero totally missed the ball on hyping you up to see this soon to be Apatowian classic. I won’t bore you with amazing details, in just 3 short sentences I’ll catch you up on that fateful night.

I stood in line with friends and waited to get tickets. I ran to press line in the hopes of meeting my beloved Seth Rogen, who was not in attendance. I tried to get Jason Segel’s autograph but was soon swallowed by the crowd, I propelled myself in his direction and got a much closer look. He is a younger, taller  Judge Reinhold and that’s a compliment because Judge Reinhold is the cat’s pajamas in Danger’s opinion. After that pursuit, I focused my attention on the arrival of  Paul Rudd who was NOT  6 feet tall, to my dismay, but he was nice to look at. I resumed my place in line and was escorted inside the glorious Mann Village theater. As I was waiting for a friend to use the bathroom, I came across Weird Al Yankovic, the man, the legend. He was noshing on popcorn, I interrupted to shower him with praise and I got to take a picture with him. The highlight of my night, since I couldn’t commandeer Seth Rogen, Yankovic would have to do.

Rudd and Segel rock out to "Tom Sawyer"

Rudd and Segel rock out to "Tom Sawyer"

We got to our seats and star gazed until one of my friends went out to buy us some soda pop, and came back saying that concession was free. Highlight # 2.  Being rich and famous means you don’t spend money, and that is so backwards I won’t go into it.

Then the lights dimmed. The screenwriter/director gets up for the movie’s introduction and we are thrust right into the bromance of the year until July 31st when “Funny People” arrives in theaters. The movie has a nice Californian pace and the laughs are aplenty. Paul Rudd plays “Peter Klaven” a man in love with the idea of being in love, devoting so much time to the lady in his life that he forgets to have friends of his own. He proposes to his girlfriend played by Rashida Jones and shortly after realizes he hasn’t any friends, so who will be his best man?

I Love You, Man

I Love You, Man

A  full on  man hunt is under way. After striking out a few times, he holds Klaven, a real estate agent, holds  an open house for Lou Ferrigno’s estate, where he  meets Sydney Fife (Jason Segel) and they immediately hit it off. The bromance begins, brimming with Vespas, Ugg boots and jackoff stations. Stuttery, awkward yet  perfectly executed, Rudd breathes life into a man we don’t often come across in the movies. A guy without friends.

He courts Fife, stammering and hopelful, finding common ground and opening up to this stranger in hopes of landing a best man for his nuptials. Fife is just as smitten but can hide it way better. Segel takes his character on as a guy who is brutally honest, caring, masculine, and without inhibition. The dynamic duo however is not the only reason to watch this movie twice. Joe Lo Truglio is great as the voice cracker, Lennon is razor sharp as the guy whom Peter smites in the beginning of the movie and tensely hilarious Jaime Pressly and Jon Favreau are the couple who hate/love each other. Andy Samberg doesn’t get nearly enough time to flex his comedy muscles as Klaven’s gay younger brother but take what you can get. Rest assured, the DVD will be chocked full of unrated glorious tidbits and deleted scenes for your home viewing pleasure. But do not wait for the DVD, watch this movie in the theater now, it will work for a dude’s night out or a romantic date.

Rudd and Segel make for an amazing comedic coupling, fresh and charismatic, which is why this movie should have took the top slot at the box office. A light comedy featuring great music and a slew of cameos, should have pounced the twice yearly Nic Cage suspense/thriller. Show the studios that it doesn’t take a disaster movie to get people into a theater. A little late now but there’s always “Funny People” in July.It’s time to let the funny guy win for a change.

KNOWING is #1. I’m so sorry. I think.

Knowing

Knowing

Knowing took the top position at the box office this weekend making $24.8 million this weekend. I went to see this movie on Saturday afternoon in a theater that was only half occupied. I did some meditations during the previews to give me strength to not be biased toward this movie because of Nicolas Cage’s acting disability. His joie de Keanu if you will.

Anyhoo, if you dismiss the overacting by Cage in pivotal scenes and the good acting from Rose Byrnes then remember to pick your jaw off the ground as you watch the ending, you might find that this movie was either 80% fantastic or 100% rubbish.

Nic Cage is a science professor/widower who has a cute and overly smart son. One day during a time capsule ceremony, each kid in class receives a sealed envelope from the capsule written by a student 50 years ago. Cage’s kid gets a paper filled with numbers that all correlate to 50 years of huge disasters and their coordinates for those of us who doubt it. Cage is trying to cope with his wife’s death by over parenting his son and drinking copious amounts of booze. He has a caring sister he likes to denounce and super religious parents, whom he no longer contacts. When the paper’s prophecies start ringing true, Cage loses his shit and then the movie starts getting a little weird.

I refuse to spoil this because I want people to watch it and help me process how to feel about this movie. It should be applauded for amazing special effects  and an ending that you would NEVER see coming at all. So I’ll say it deserves the number spot even though “I Love You Man” was my favorite to win. Then again Cage deserves this one, I think. No, yeah let the man and his hair have their day.

U.S Box Office Top 5

1. “Knowing” $24.8 million

2. “I Love You, Man” $18 million

3.”Duplicity” $14 million

4.”Race to Witch Mountain $13 million

5. “Watchmen” $6.7 million

“Duplicity”, a duplicate?

Duplicity featuring Clive Owen and Julia Roberts

Duplicity featuring Clive Owen and Julia Roberts

Arriving in theaters this Friday (yawn) is the action packed (stretch), corporate spy caper starring Clive Owen and Julia Roberts. (Snore). So it only took the big studios 5 years since  the arrival of “Mr. and Mrs Smith” to figure out that sexy spy movies featuring Hollywood A-Listers can make you a buck or two. Tsk Tsk. This movie is what happens when “Ocean’s Eleven” has a drink with “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” .

Check out a brief synopsis of “Duplicity” per IMDB.com:

“A pair of corporate spies who share a steamy past hook up to pull off the ultimate con job on their respective bosses.”

(Yawn) Rich, beautiful and boring. At the end of this film, the hero will ultimately wind up donning a Buena Vista Social Club straw hat while wearing white pants as he walks down a white sand beach sipping a pina colada, at the bottom of the frame a glowing Julia Roberts will embrace him, in her darling bikini top and sarong. The music will cut in as the credits begin to roll following a tight shot of Roberts gaping million dollar grin. Okay Hollywood how about you pay me $10 million and I’ll have the sequel ready for you by August? I guesstimate “I Love You Man” to win this weekend’s box office with “Duplicity” trailing along in spot number three. Maybe I’ll eat my words but it doesn’t matter because in the end Mrs. Julia Roberts always wins.