Nice going Dragonball Evolution

masterI may lose a few loads of any credibility my opinion site has managed to get me in the last month, but I don’t care. Dragonball Evolution was a pretty decent manga live action movie. You may have seen the trailers and the posters, hell you probably laughed as heartily at them as I did. The special effects looked like they had  been copy pasted  from the mid 90’s cult classic “Mortal Combat” which was awesome. Beyond that, choosing Justin Chatwin, the guy who played Tom Cruise’s son in  “War of the Worlds”, to become”Goku”, the main protagonist from the manga, seemed like Hollywood’s bastard attempt to create an anime  live action anglo friendly box office titan. It may have well been, but Chatwin was pretty kick ass to say that he didn’t have a whole lot to work with.

11-14 year old boys would probably adore this flick. There are plenty of cute girls, great fighting scenes, and some nice fantasy elements to aid the retelling of one of the most popular mangas of all time. Having never read more than 2 pages of the manga, I found that the writer did a good job of explaining the story without alienating a non Dragonball fan.

Chatwin summons the box office gods
Chatwin summons the box office gods

“Dragon Ball: Evolution” is the story of a unpopular teenaged boy named Goku, who  is found by an old martial arts expert who raises him as his grandson. On Goku’s 18th birthday his grandfather gives him a dragonball. There are 7 Dragon Balls spread all over the Earth and whoever possesses all seven can summon a dragon who will grant any wish. Piccolo, an evil alien demon, comes to Earth in search of all the Dragon Balls so that he make a wish to destroy the planet. Lord Piccolo (James Marsters, Spike from Buffy) and his faithful sidekick (Eriko Tamura wearing a bad wig) have descended on Earth to appropriate all seven Dragon Balls,  so that they can destroy the planet.  Bulma (Emmy Rossum of Phantom of the Opera with a silly blue hair streak), a scientist who wants to use the Dragon Ball’s as an energy source (go green!) finds Goku at his house with her Dragon Ball Energy finder. Together they start a quest with Master Rochi (Chow Yun Fat), Goku’s Grandfather’s Trainer, to find the Dragon Balls before Lord Piccolo so they can save the Earth.

While true fans of manga will be shocked and appalled by the story’s modification and the anglo “Goku” who does not have a tail, viewers who are just looking for a good time at the matinee will not find any harm. The actors and actresses all seemed to be in good spirits, Yun Fat yucks it up as “Master Rochi” in his Hawaiian shirt, Bulma’s love interest Yamcha (Joon Parks, huge in Korea, unknown in America) is charming and fun as a hustlin surfer dude, and Chatwin’s Goku is pretty charming and likeable. Even Ghostbuster Ernie Hudson shows up in a brief role as a monk . Ernie Hudson is 63 years old, I can hardly believe that.

The special effects came to the aid of a slightly soft script, adding nicely to slowed down fight scenes, dynamic alien space ships, a fucking dragon, and amazing Buffy the Vampire Slayer makeup for Lord Piccolo, a demon who was imprisoned for 2,000 years and is a wee bit vengeful about it.

Spike from Buffy, is that you under there?
Spike from Buffy, is that you under there?

Overall this movie was a fun watch, coming in at 86 minutes it had amazing pacing, I also had a few laughs “with it” as opposed to “at it”. Weirdly enough I’m pretty interested in seeing the promised sequel. All in all, a better picture than “Race to Witch Mountain”, so if you’re stuck babysitting your little brother this weekend take him to see this one. It will probably rank number 10 at the box office this weekend, though it’s been very successful in Asia, but it still deserves a fair shot for being entertaining.

From boys to men: Danger Bowie’s countdown for equality

Ray Nicholson and his dad Jack
Ray Nicholson and his dad Jack

I sat through the countdown until the Olsen twins turned 18 years old. Then it was Lindsay Lohan’s turn. I just visited the site featuring the countdown to Miley Cyrus big 1-8 and I’m done with it. Why is it okay for men to countdown the mere moments until underage girls reach the garden of 18 years of consensual age, and I get deemed inappropriate for inquiring about Mr. Nick Jonas’ big day?

I’m not gonna take it anymore. Equality for all, I’m shouting in this, the age of Obama, the beginning of reason and hope, Danger Bowie is gonna count down a couple of her very own magical birthdays.

Pictured above, Raymond Nicholson, Jack’s youngest son. He just turned 17 on February 20, 2009 but fear not ladies there’s only 341 days away between you, Ray and jail time.

And last but not least with a solid 549 days until this cutie pie hits adulthood…

Mr. Nick Jonas

Nick Jonas at Dodger stadium
Nick Jonas at Dodger stadium

Aww my darling Nicki, soon.

With that out of my system, I resolve to not go as far as to use disgusting objectifying adjectives to describe any lustful way a lady could feel about these boys because I am but a notch better than the men who started the aforementioned  lady countdown sites. I will from time to time keep all the females alerted of where the clock lies but until our day comes, we lie in the shadows, waiting patiently. Controversy is thick in the air, and I can’t get enough of it.

Hark, I say!

Equality for all!

Long live male and female adolescent to adulthood countdowns!!