Adam Sandler’s untitled project slated for release in 2010 has just added Salma “Boobs Maloy” Hayek to it’s all star comedy roster which includes; Chris Rock, David Spade, Kevin James, Rob Schneider, Maya Rudolph and ..hold on this can’t be right..Colin Quinn? I guess resurrecting the ghosts of Saturday Night Live circa 1995 could make for a funny movie.
The movie is about a group of childhood friends reuniting on the fourth of July. Salma will play Adam Sandler’s wife. Adam Sandler may be one of the most cunning men in Hollywood. The man who looked like this:
And don’t forget this jewel:
has managed to kiss the following leading ladies (in his movies, that is)\
Bridgette Wilson , Julie Bowen, Drew Barrymore , Winona Ryder, Kate Beckinsale, Fairuza Balk, Marisa Tomei, Tea Leoni, Joey Lauren Adams, Patricia Arquette(hot in “Lost Highway), Emmanuell Chriqui (Entourage chick), Emily Watson,Paz Vega, Liv Tyler, and Leslie Mann.
Grossing almost $1 billion dollars at the box office, keeping the career of Rob Schneider alive for 15 years and slipping the tongues to ladies?
I’d like to see Jimmy Fallon attempt to do 1% of any of that.
I am fully aware that I hold an enormous bias for this movie because I adore the comedy troupe the two main stars hail from. I was first introduced to “The Whitest Kids U’ Know” when it debuted on Fuse, an alternative basic cable channel that has since evolved into MTV2. Yuck. For their second season the show moved to the independent movie channel, which sucks for me because you have to pay extra for that channel and I am the working poor, so our relationship had to end. After a year long break up with Trevor and Zach, much to my delight, they penned a disgustingly crass, morally repugnant movie featuring Craig Robinson, my absolute favorite, entitled, “Miss March”.
This movie absolutely tanked this weekend and will probably air on Comedy Central by April Fool’s Day. Yet I’d still watch this movie four more times before even considering going in on “Watchmen” again. At least “Miss March” knows it’s a bad movie. Doctor Manhattan..ha.
So the movie’s about a kid who slips into a 4 year coma only to wake up and find out that his virginal high school girlfriend is the Playboy of the month centerfold. He then goes on a cross country trip to the Playboy Mansion with his completely irrational best friend since childhood to reunite with his long lost love.
Now buyer beware, if you want morality, substance, or logic then NEVER watch this movie. If you love dick, fart and sex jokes then this movie was made for you. It is filth that your girlfriend will abhor you for laughing at, an abomination to which critics pray to their pagan gods so that your eyes may never bare witness, however if you’re having a shitty day at work or you’ve got that weight of the world on your shoulders feeling ,then this is the dipshit comedy wet dream you’ve long awaited.
Block out his ridiculous dialogue and love on the fact that Trevor Moore speaks almost exclusively through unneccessary facial movement and in that way he’s the poor man’s Jim Carrey. I’ll be burned at the stake for that statement, it’s kind of a longshot comparison but he’s at least 25% better than Jamie Kennedy on his best day.
Zach Cregger plays the virginal main character “Eugene” and he is fantastic in the role. Playing the straight man in this bizarro universe must have proven difficult especially when going up against Craig Robinson who uproariously plays the hardcore gangsta rapper “Horsedick.Mpeg”. I refuse to spoil even one of the movie’s jokes, just know that the last scene with Horsedick is fucking priceless and worth the cost of admission alone.
In conclusion, feel free to hate on this movie but there’s at least a laugh in it for everyone I know and that’s more than can be said for the last 15 spin offs of National Lampoons …well anything.