Tarantino+Pitt= Awesome Friday


Fuck Julie & Julia! Down with The Time Traveler and his wife! Tyler Durden is on the warpath for some na(t)zi scalps. I can’t wait to get to my local theater  on Friday afternoon to take in  Quentin Tarantino’s newest film, ” Inglourious Basterds”. I don’t care if the critics have it out for Tarantino or if you think Brad Pitt’s too pretty to summon up his inner sergeant  bad ass, if you agree with them then you my dear public can suck the big one. I hear the whispers, the dissenters.  They say Quentin Tarantino hasn’t been  good since “Pulp Fiction”  well  to hell with that, because I proudly call myself  a “Jackie Brown” kinda girl. Doom to you evil naysayers!! Quentin has returned!

Go see “Inglorious..” and be fully prepared for  fun, bloody, kickass  retribution.  Besides that,  you get voice over narration by none other than the incomparable Samuel L. Jackson, then there’s  Eli Roth , B.J. Novak  (hilarious) from the Office, and Samm Levine (quirksville) from Freaks and Geeks as Pitt’s loyal soldiers and Mike Myers as a general.  A fine recipe for kicking some na(t)zi ass.

God bless you Tarantino and I can’t wait til Friday.

Miss March: Prepare to lose respect for Danger Bowie

Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore. Image by Frank Masi

Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore. Image by Frank Masi

I am fully aware that I hold an enormous bias for this movie because I adore the comedy troupe the two main stars hail from. I was first introduced to “The Whitest Kids U’ Know” when it debuted on Fuse, an alternative basic cable channel that has since evolved into MTV2. Yuck. For their second season the show moved to the independent movie channel, which sucks for me because you have to pay extra for that channel and I am the working poor, so our relationship had to end. After a year long  break up with Trevor and Zach, much to my delight,  they penned a disgustingly crass, morally repugnant movie featuring Craig Robinson, my absolute favorite, entitled, “Miss March”.

Whitest Kids U' Know

Whitest Kids U' Know

This movie absolutely tanked this weekend and will probably air on Comedy Central by April Fool’s Day. Yet I’d still watch this movie four more times before even considering going in on “Watchmen” again. At least “Miss March” knows it’s a bad movie. Doctor Manhattan..ha.

So the movie’s about a kid who slips into a 4 year coma only to wake up and find out that his virginal high school girlfriend is the Playboy of the month centerfold. He then goes on a cross country trip to the Playboy Mansion with his completely irrational best friend since childhood to reunite with his long lost love.

Now buyer beware, if you want morality, substance, or logic then NEVER watch this movie. If you love dick, fart and sex jokes then this movie was made for you. It is filth that your girlfriend will abhor you for laughing at, an abomination to which  critics pray to their pagan gods so that your eyes may never bare witness, however if you’re having a shitty day at work or you’ve got that weight of the world on your shoulders feeling ,then this is the dipshit comedy wet dream you’ve long awaited.

Block out his ridiculous dialogue and love on the fact that Trevor Moore speaks almost exclusively through unneccessary facial movement and in that way he’s the poor man’s Jim Carrey. I’ll be burned at the stake for that statement, it’s kind of a  longshot comparison but  he’s at least 25% better than Jamie Kennedy on his best day.

Zach Cregger plays the virginal main character “Eugene” and he is fantastic in the role. Playing the straight man in this bizarro universe must have proven difficult especially when going up against Craig Robinson who uproariously plays the hardcore gangsta rapper “Horsedick.Mpeg”. I refuse to spoil even one of the movie’s jokes, just know that the last scene with Horsedick is fucking priceless and worth the cost of admission alone.

In conclusion, feel free to hate on this movie but there’s at least a laugh in it for everyone I know and that’s more than can be said for the last 15 spin offs of National Lampoons …well anything.