South Park returns with “Dead Celebrities”

Posted on October 7, 2009 by Danger Bowie

Matt and Trey are my heroes and after watching tonight’s mid-season premiere of “South Park” I’m ready to get a shirt made that says just that.The premiere episode entitled, “Dead Celebrities” focuses on Kyle’s little Canadian brother Ike, who is being haunted by the ghost of television infomercial demigod, Billy Mays.

But wait! There’s more!! This episode was entirely devoted to showcasing EVERY celebrity that died this summer, and because they create the episodes so quickly no one is exempt, David Carradine with a noose around his neck wearing fishnets, Natasha Richardson in ski gear, not even “Point Break’s” own freshly laid to rest Patrick Swayze or MTV’s DJ. AM. Alas, it was the ghost of Michael Jackson and his shrill cries of “you’re ignorant” and “tee hees” that made my eyes rain.

With a brilliant subplot tying together ‘mexican food to-go superking’s’ Chipotle and Billy Mays’ newest product “Chipotl-Away“, and a child’s beauty pageant ,they took no prisoners. I cried with laughter at the absurdity of the lady from Poltergeist being thrown out of a hospital window and exploding on the ground after the ghost of Michael Jackson calls her ignorant, possesses the EKG machine, and with a sonic boom, puts an end to her story line.

It is always an amazing treat tuning in week after week to see how far Matt and Trey are willing to take things. The pop culture commentary is hit on the nose in ways that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert will never be able to replicate. It’s so perfectly gauche, witty, tasteless and perfectly executed. Enough of me polishing their knobs. Do yourself a favor and head over to southparkstudios.com and see what you’re missing.

Zombieland is #1, thank you America

Posted on October 4, 2009 by Danger Bowie

Just as I had given up all hope that Hollywood would ever produce another original movie in walks “Zombieland”. The buzz was small but impressive, and as I arrived at the theater my excitement became wiley. After the audience did a thorough job at laughing at the extended New Moon trailer, the movie started off with a cinematic bang and I barely had time to catch my breath.

A beautiful slow motion action sequence bled into the introduction of the narrator, played to perfection by Jesse Eisenberg. One can almost always expect to be slightly mocked by movie narration. Most writers can’t figure out how to use this plot device to explain their story to the audience without making them feel like they are dumbasses but that is where Zombieland differs. The writing is modern, witty, sharp and accessible. After spending some alone time we make our way over to meet Woody Harrelson’s character, “Tallahassee” and then the real fun begins.

A friendship is created amidst the post apocalyptic world these unlikely chums are forced to inhabit, where a deadly disease is turning everyone into the flesh eating undead. There are certain rules you must always follow in order to survive and sometimes you may be forced to break a few.

Harrelson demonstrates the lunatic charm we all love to see from him. While Eisenberg usurps Michael Cera’s every nerd crown and succeeds in places where Cera has never been cuz remember that Eisenberg was on the scene first. The zombie journey continues and we are introduced to a pair of ass kicking sisters, played by Emma Stone (Superbad) and Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine) hellbent on familial survival. The story takes a shift at this point but t’s not for the worse. Twists, turns and a brilliant cameo ensue and I left that theater with a giant smile on my undead face.

I can confidently say that Zombieland is now my favorite movie of 2009 so far. Beautifully shot, written and acted, I was so overwhelmingly entertained that it was jarring. I suggest that if you are heading out to the cinema that you give this movie your box office dollar. You will not regret it.

It’s Coming..

Posted on September 22, 2009 by Danger Bowie

Happy Tuesday morning to my vampire lusting America. Just a reminder November 20 2009 is less than 2 months away. That means only 56 days until the phenomenon that is New Moon, takes over the world. Ladies around the globe prepare to have your hearts melted at the hands of the ravenous vampiric love beast that is Edward Cullen. Swoon.

HBO scores again with Bored To Death

Posted on September 22, 2009 by Danger Bowie

Thank God for the fall tv season. Just as we were all preparing the noose from having to endure a summer of “Wipeout”, “VH1’s Daisy of Love” and whatever vile MTV had going, premium television has interceded with yet another fantastic series. Enter HBO’s newest comedy half hour series , “Bored to Death”. Written for the screen by Jonathan Ames (author of several funny novels you should have read already), “Bored..” tells the semi-autobiographical story of a writer named Jonathan Ames, who fresh off a break up, decides to use Craigslist.org as a comedic plot device to cure himself of writer’s block and a broken heart.

With a maybe minor addiction to pot and white wine Ames manages to get himself into one hilarious ordeal after another. Schwartzman makes a magnificent transition from the big screen with the help of his supporting cast. Zach Galifianakis plays Ray, Jonathan’s comic book illustrating pal who’s comprised of endless quirks and quotables. In case you hadn’t noticed we are living in the year of Zach Galifianakis and this show is no exception. Ted Danson is another wonderful addition to the cast, playing Ames’magazine editor who has a penchant for pot and Viagra. Snark, witticisms, and a little of the morose allowed me to thoroughly enjoyed 29 and a half minutes of this show. It’ s becoming increasingly clear that the execs of premium cable have their fingers on the pulse. They deal in edginess, something that none of these “reality tv” shows can replicate. A round of applause for Showtime and HBO for keeping it real.

In defense of ‘Jennifer’s Body’

Posted on September 21, 2009 by Danger Bowie

I’m very confused by this weekend’s box office results. Diablo Cody, Oscar winning screenwriter, and Transformers’ star Megan Fox released a horror/comedy movie and it only managed to take 5th place, taking in a little over $6 million in its opening weekend. What?!

So why didn’t the movie perform to expectations? Megan Fox did a complete blitz marketing campaign, from a zillion magazine covers to starting feuds with Michael Bay and mental health. Dangerbowie.com saw a 200% increase in site views because of the last Megan Fox post. Even writer Diablo Cody was out there pimping it strong but to no avail. Perhaps the R-rating killed the chances of a large portion of it’s would be audience. There was also talks on the interweb about how the horror comedy genre just doesn’t play well to Americans. What “they” are saying is that we (Americans) will watch giant robots come to life and breakdance, we can get into teen angst vampires, but the concept of Evil Dead or Gremlins just don’t do it for us commercially? Bollocks.

I firmly stand behind this project because it is so rare that you get a movie written, directed and starring women in non traditional roles.It’s always the same romantic comedy that paints a one sided picture of the ditz/chubby/awkward/dumb girl who eventually gets the guy. They took Jennifer’s Body and spun in it in an entirely different direction and kudos to them. I hope that this softer opening weekend doesn’t prevent these ladies from continuing to make movies that feature women in different societal roles. Long live Diablo!

James McAvoy and Seth Rogen in the same movie. My bizarre dreams are coming true.

Posted on August 19, 2009 by Danger Bowie

Sweet Jimmy Mac I knew you had it in you. Variety reported today that James McAvoy has signed on to star in comedic adaptation of the Will Reiser novel “I’m With Cancer.” Nicole Holofcener will direct, and the pic will co-star Seth Rogen, who is also producing.

In the first major project McAvoy has agreed to star in since the Universal comicbook actioner “Wanted” and its upcoming sequel, he will play a 25-year-old who learns he has cancer and successfully battles the disease over several years.

After watching the BBC’s Shameless in which McAvoy costarred, I can honestly say that while he is a gorgeous stallion of a man with a 10,000 yard deathsex stare, he does have comedic chops. The pairing of these two shall be monumental and rank rather highly on the Danger Bowie spank it meter. Seth Rogen is unstoppable. I can’t wait to see who’ll he co star with next. Perhaps if the powers that be hear my eternal cries, we can expect Pineapple Express 2 with Brad Pitt joining the cast as Gary Cole’s long lost brother, who is fresh out of prison and wants to avenge his late brother death. Coming at you in 2013. One can always dream.

Greek is gonna get me through a summer of sub par programming

Posted on August 19, 2009 by Danger Bowie

This fine specimen with exquisite taste in fake facial hair is my summer heartthrob 2009, Mr. Scott Michael Foster from ABC Family channel’s “Greek”. Never in my life could I imagine that I’d be admitting to watching ABC Family but he before my 3 loyal readers I will say that ABC Family has produced a show that is entertaining, charming, and well scripted.

The only reason I even gave “Greek” a second of my time is because of the hilarious..the incomparable Clark Duke.

After watching him and Michael Cera on the web series, “Clark and Michael“, I am willing to watch this guy do anything on the screen. I saw the first few commercials for “Greek” 2 years ago and it looked insanely cheesy and moral driven so I put my undying love for Clark Duke on hold.

In comes the summer of 2009, lo and behold, television is crap. I turned to my ever loyal Hulu.com and decided I was finally going to give in and I was not disappointed. Greek is a dramedy following students at the fictional Cyprus Rhodes University that partake in the school’s fraternities and sororities. Though there are well over 10 regualr characters in the cast it’s the main character that seems the most familiar. Rusty Cartwright is an anti social virgin math geek who is a mere freshman trying to get his footing in an uber social environment. After 4 minutes of the first episode it became scarily clear. This show is essentially Judd Apatow’s funny and ill fated “Undeclared” if you dipped it in a light coating of sugar. I really miss Undeclared.

Binge drinking, homosexuality, balancing relationships, and growing up are just a few of the college riddled issues the good looking but accessible cast have to deal with in the first season. Major life issues arise and are conquered with charm and ease allowing a snarky desensitized viewer like myself to empathize for the misunderstood hot guy, pretty and vapid girl, the innocent geek, the preppy douche and the funny uber Christian prototype (played to perfection by Duke). While Greek won’t be changing my life or affecting my credit score, it is definitely entertaining to watch. Lead bad boy with a heart of gold Scott Michael Foster, from the short lived yet Danger Bowie approved series “Quarterlife” is quite the yummy devilish morsel. I salivate in darkness.

When you finish watching the latest skanky VH1 reality show, after the 45th repeat of CSI, finish up your 91st season of the Bachelor, get on line and catch up on a series with some promise. At the very least keep one more scripted show on the air. Thanks be to Greek for getting me through the dog days of 2009’s crap television.

Youth In Revolt coming soon to a theater near you

Posted on June 24, 2009 by Danger Bowie

Youth in Revolt by C.D. Payne has been one of my favorite books since I could still be considered a youth. The book serves as a tome for teens and some grown ups who are fighting against the odds of growing pains , frustrations, and learning to deal with the opposite sex. Plenty of tomfoolery ensues, homelessness, bait and switch, dressing up in drag to escape authorities, step parents, and a camping trip.

The book has now been adapted into a movie starring Superbad’s Michael Cera and Steve Buscemi. I am excited and scared all at once that they could possibly have ruined a book that I cherish so much, I reread it twice every year. Especially after Sunday’s viewing of this “treasure”:

I’m almost scared to go to any theater for the remainder of the summer after watching “Year One”. No matter what Cera will be given the opportunity to redeem himself as I will watch “Youth In Revolt” when it’s released in the fall. BUT if they crucify one of my favorite books cinematically, Michael Cera will have to answer to me and trust me when I say I don’t take no guff.

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“Hangover” the cure for your summer blues

Posted on June 23, 2009 by Danger Bowie

By now, almost every American has seen the Hangover at least once, so I’m not going to attempt a hard sell on this one. I had a chance to watch this movie back in February at a private screening where they served booze so i went in pretty stoked and pretty skeptical, I mean getting your target demographic plastered before you show your finished product is implying something . Aside from some minor glitches in editing earlyin the movie the test screening was a success. My guest Monicais and I really enjoyed it and vowed that upon release we would see it’s final cut.

So heading over to the Vista theater in Los Angeles we were superstoked to see it again because we discovered that Bradley Cooper is the ABSolute business. The movie is about 4 guys who happen upon some trouble when they head out to Vegas for their best friend’s bachelor party. Tigers, Tyson, Mike Epps, and a few Roofies later they find themselves suffering from amnesia, missing teeth, and a missing groom.

Watch this movie because it is a great offering from Todd Phillips, the director of Old School, it’s proof that a couple of guys in an extraordinary situation can still hold down an original comedic plot line without major stars. Thanks to the movie gods for their offering of Mr. Bradley Cooper or Coop as I intimately call him. He is a cinematic cupcake and my glucose is scarily low. Here’s a little Coop bustin’ out of his vest for your dining pleasure:

For your Consideration: “Land of the Lost”

Posted on June 23, 2009 by Danger Bowie

I know that by now pretty much everyone in America has written off Land of the Lost as the first real flop of the summer, monetarily you may be correct but in actuality you are wrong. I’ve seen “Land of the Lost” twice theatrically and I’d call it the funniest movie of the summer thus far.

Albeit if you are not a fan of Will Ferrell this could be a tough pill to swallow, well don’t be a tight ass and allow the sweet comedic executions of Danny McBride to change your mind. I’ll stop trying to sell you on it in such a political way and speak on the plot for a second.

Dr. Rick Marshall, Ferrell, has become the ass of the quantum physics world because of his wild alternative universe beliefs. He is tracked down by a young ambitious scientist, Holly, who urges him to finish building a device that would allow him to time travel.

After a food coma they hit the road to find the best place from which to test their device and that’s how they come upon Will Stanton, played by the incomparable Danny McBride, a redneck who runs the road side attraction where the time travel device works best. At a certain point in the cave of the roadside attraction the device comes ot life and the trio are propelled into a parallel universe where they meet Chaka,Lonely Island’s Jorma Taccone, a primate king who becomes a part of their motley crew. Then it is on. Full steam ahead. Some amazing unexpected gags and tear inducing laughter follows. I won’t give anything away because I am on an Obama like crusade to redeem this movie and I need your help. Enough pandering, the moral of the story is that you will miss out if you skip this movie. Do you like to laugh? Well what the hell are you waiting for?

Please don’t watch “Year One” it will be a grave mistake, I was there on Sunday and this movie is the more superior of the 2. Danny McBride and Will Ferrell possess more chemistry in their pinky toes than Michael Cera and Jack Black have in their matted unoriginal wigs.

F^%$ Peter Travers and all the Anti-Ferrell/Sandler critics who need explanations for their comedy. Those guys have been entertaining me since I was a kid. I don’t need the constant reminer of the deteriorating world around me, sometimes I need a nicely executed dick joke or a redneck prat to remind me that life is as simple and funny as it is ridiculous and petty. Watch this movie for the 5 moments when your eyes well with tears from watching them commit to some oddball behavior in their ridiculous awespiring adventures. Here’s a pic of my McBride for the road:

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