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Happy Birthday Ike Hanson!!

ike5

In 1997, when I woke up in the morning this was the first thing I would see: my beloved, awkward, Isaac “Ike” Hanson. He was not awkward to me then—no— he was a hunk that I wished to cuddle wit as he strummed an exclusive track off the Middle Of Nowhere album, I didn’t have nasty dreams back then, a cuddle with Ike would have alleviated all the pain and suffering from my dear emotional, teenage heart. “He’s he worst looking one!” My mother would scream. I hated her for being so judgmental and blind to the beauty of my precious Ike. She didn’t get it. I’m sorry he was no “conventional hunk” like Will Smith, Mom, but he was a hunk to me.

Sophomore year of high school arrived and I became much more fascinated with the angst tunes of Korn, leaving the love of my life and his family band in the deep abyss. But first loves die hard.

It’s been 17 years and I still remember your birthday.

ike4

Happy Birthday 34th birthday Clarke Isaac Hanson. Though you are married and the father of no less than 7 children, I will always hold an eternal flame for you.

Please enjoy this youtube video of my favorite Hanson song.

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Happy Birthday Taylor Hanson!

Jordan Taylor Hanson+2

Jordan Taylor Hanson+3

26 years ago on this glorious day God gave us Taylor Hanson. Born in Tulsa, Oklahoma, Taylor is the second child of Diana and Clarke Hanson. The future would prove that Mr. Taylor Hanson would never come second again.

In May of 1997 when Hanson  blew up the scene, a young alternative rock loving 14 year old Danger Bowie removed her Tuesday underwear and they were secretly Hanson’s for the keeping. To the chagrine of her mother/supplier, Danger became engulfed in Hanson mania. Isaac, the older brother, with a face he was still growing into, was my absolute favorite. My cat’s pajamas. Pictures of his giant horse head adorned my walls and my heart. Taylor was my best friend Haley’s favorite brother but I would have a secret menage a trois in my head on Saturday night’s with him and Isaac or Ike as I affectionately called him.

Hanson in bubbles

Hanson in bubbles

I have no idea where Haley is now and my secret musical tastes only have eyes for the Jonas Brothers, which makes me not only a pedophile but the biggest traitor this side of  “MMMBop”.  Yet I will never forget the pure raw desire that I felt as I listened to their breakout album “Middle Of Nowhere” . It ignited a disgusting underdeveloped stream of lust, a high that I chase to this day at 26 years old. So I want to say to you Taylor Hanson, one third of the truest group to my heart; You can stop looking for the love because it’s right here. Now please walk away before you get me pregnant because as it turns out you Hansons are some baby making motherfuckers.