HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Really? A movie about the Tooth Fairy? Oh crap but it’s stars Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (kudos on stealing Vin Diesel’s career by actually having posessing talent AND muscles)so it looks like my maternal unit will be forcing me to watch this on her dime and I’ll wind up secretly enjoying it(Race to Witch Mountain) while vocally detesting everything it stands for to prove a cinematically snobby point. I can not believe “The Eyebrow” wrestler dude from WWF’s Smackdown has made a viable career out of making wildly successful Disney movies. Maybe Warner Brothers should usurp Triple H and the Hardy Boyz for a few bromantic comedies?
I had the privilege of going to the premiere of “Shorts” last weekend in Hollywood. Besides a really adorable movie I also got to see the delightful looking Robert Rodriguez in all his glory. Score one for me.
I was shocked to find that the film translated to people over 13 years old. While I may have rolled my eyes when my kiddie movie obsessed mother forced me to watch all the “Spy Kids” movies, I secretly enjoyed each one and I owe it all to director/writer/musician/super hottie Robert Rodriguez. Who would’ve thought that the man who blessed the world with El Mariachi, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, and Desperado (to name a few) could piece together such entertaining family fare.
The story of ‘Shorts’ is a basic kid tale. 11 year old ‘Toe’ Thompson is the punching bag for the bullies in the suburban Black Falls community, where his and everyone else’s parents work for Black Box Industries. A company that manufactures a gadget that can do everything, it’s even better than an Iphone. A random storm hits the community and a mysterious Rainbow Rock is found that grants the beholder anything it wishes for.The rainbow rock finds it’s way around the city, jumping from the hands of kids to adults. The movie is a ‘magical adventure told through a series of shorts that bring to life the best and worst aspects of the Black Falls Community.’
The kid actors in this movie are fantastic and charming, making the ride that much smoother. Kat Dennings plays the part of the permanently annoyed older sister to perfection, William H. Macy is great as the kooky germaphobe scientist, and Leslie Mann and Jon Cryer make for the perfect neurotic technology obsessed parents. However, it’s James Spader as the rich villainous owner of Black Box Industries that I found the most amusing. Only one problem, by the end of the movie I was really wanting my own rainbow wishing rock (what a dream it would be to become debt free).
It seems like a big coincidence that Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino are releasing a movie on the same day. I mean, the movies are on complete opposite sides of the spectrum but it makes you wonder how divisive Hollywood can be sometimes. Here’s a solution for all you fully functioning adults with families: take the kids to see “Shorts” and get a sitter the next day so you can watch “Inglourious Basterds” that way 2 of the greatest directors of my generation will get their time to shine.