I just came across this picture of you from yesterday night’s Los Angeles premiere of your summer blockbuster Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen and I thought it would be a great time to pen this letter to you. First off, you are adorable and I am a mere 24 hours away from watching you run from computer generated robots and explosions while you romance Megan Fox. Although I could do without the romance part, I must say I am heavily excited to watch your latest work. Thank you for cleaning up so well, marry me..err..date me for like 6 months and then we’ll be close friends. I am a realist. You are the bees knees.
For whatever reason, I randomly called KROQ fm on Tuesday morning to attempt to win a 4 pack of tickets to the premiere of “I Love You Man” starring Jason Segel and Paul Rudd. This attractive duo from the comedy mafia led by Seth””marry me please” Rogen, are killing me with the anticipation of watching this potentially insanely hilarious movie.
I never win anything ever but I wound up winning those tickets and being 2 minutes late for work. Neuroses. Long story short, soiled myself with the possibilities of occupying the same theater as these guys and proceeded to gloat my good fortune in the face of anyone who would listen. The premiere is Tuesday the 17th and if I don’t get arrested for attempted rape or kidnapping, I shall share my unique experience with you, the inter-web . Hell, with those criminal charges under my belt, I may as well be a NFL quarterback.