Ryan Reynolds is hosting Saturday Night Live later on tonight and I can’t wait to give them my viewership. Unlike last Saturday’s hopeless Megan Fox led episode this one will be funny. Doesn’t hurt that we get to stare at Ryan for an hour and a half. And then there’s this:
Lady Gaga, icon, chanteuse, and fashionable weirdo, is the musical guest and that translates to a very unboring episode of late night sketch comedy. How will she followup the VMA’s ? Singing “Paparazzi” from a vat of petroleum jelly while wearing red long johns with a missing ass perhaps? What will Samberg do? Possibilities are endless. Thanks Gaga.
I made my way over to the theater yesterday to experience the sugary romcom goodness of Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock in “The Proposal”. At first one would assume this to be yet another in a string of disposable romantic flicks but hark I tell you, hark! This movie showcases the usual syrupy sweet formula, bitch boss gets in a predicament and underling is forced to help. The movie takes you to the land of cheesiness but never allows you to get off the train. Sandra’s relentlessly bitchy boss is fun to watch coupled with 2 tons of snarky jokes executed with amazing comedic timing by Mr. Reynolds and his ubiquitous abs. The dingy old rom-com formula has been tweaked to near perfection and you’re mostly just excited to be along for the ride.
Sandra Bullock reminds me of why I liked her so much in the first place, she’s not typical and her comedy chops, all slapstick and brilliant in her $2,000 5 inch stilettos. Betty White does an amazing job in the supporting slot, coming close to stealing the movie from Reynolds, but his buff buffness would not allow it. If you’re a dude, enjoy the light comedy and Sandra Bullock’s practically nude shower scene and if you’re a lady then go so you can dream about washing your clothes on Reynolds washboard abs while he strokes your hair and whispers naughty self aware quips in your ear.
Oh and here’s a little eye candy or spank material for all the ladies out there. Thanks for visiting us here at dangerbowie.com, there’s plenty more where this came from. Wink*.
Holy crap, America’s number one movie is the funniest movie of the year. Raawwwwwrrrrr!! Xmen Origins: Wolverine, is the story of James Logan (Wolverine/Hugh Jackman) and Victor Creed (Sabretooth/Liev Schreiber), brothers, who after delivering some accidental patricide run away, grow up and fight in several wars. You see, these brothers are a little different in that they both possess mutant powers and rock hard bodies. They’re brutality catches up with them and they wind up in jail, where they are offered immunity if they agree to join a military task force which, unbeknownst to Logan, has the sole purpose of hunting down other mutants. He wants no part of killing innocent people, so he decides to abandon ship, which pisses off Sabretooth who decides to go rogue and kill everyone that gets in his way. 6 years and one disturbing murder later, Logan is brought out of retirement, the government injects him with metal which makes him indestructible and he’s ready to take revenge.
A few bright lights in this film for me were as follows; lots of baby oiled six packed men roaming around shirtless, Ryan Reynolds and his charming quips,and realizing that Hugh Jackman is actually a good actor. Now for the bad stuff. Take every single action movie you’ve ever seen and compile every cliched line ever written, and fuse that into every unnecessary CGI effect ever created, say hello to your #1 movie.I shook with laughter for 80% of this movie because I couldn’t believe the shit that Jackman and Schreiber were forced to say with a straight face. It felt like it was happening on purpose but after awhile you realize that this movie has been re cut 80 times for a reason, they were trying to edit a heart into it. Half the movie you feel like you’re watching Wolverine the Video Game, and the other half you think you’re watching one of those spoof flicks the Wayans brothers are so fond of making. The score is preposterously unsubtle, Wolverine’s love interest is completely dead behind the eyes rendering their chemistry nonexistent.
Sadly the only beacon of heart in the movie is Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. They seemed to let him, his body, and comedic timing speak for itself in the 10 minutes he gets onscreen. Perhaps they should think about doing an X-Men Origins for Deadpool after th 2011 Magneto is released. A shining star amongst a movie filled with one dimensional characters, a twisty unsavory plot, a cajun character with a San Diego accent, and Sabretooth, who could’ve doubled as a vampire or sewer rat. I defy you stars.
Oh the claws. The bloody awful claws, one would think that in 2009 CGI effects would lend themselves to creating something a little more authentic. The claws were a shade of grey one notch to light and it looked more and more like a scene from the movie, “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”. I know it’s a comic book movie but I sometimes feel like I can never enjoy another comic book movie because of “Dark Knight”. It raised the bar for both action movies and comic book based movies and until Nolan’s next go at the franchise, I feel sad about watching anything directly correlated wth a graphic novel.
“Wolverine” was a C- level comic book based action movie. It did not deliver. For a movie that was not trying to break new ground, the screenplay and abuse of score and CGI murdered any of its potential. The actors did what they could and I thank them for that but this was so far from the original 3 X-Men movies that it got awkward after awhile.
Lastly, I waited until after the credits to see the bonus scene that they cut into the movie, so that people wouldn’t illegally download the movie on the internet. Unfortunately they wound up every theater a different scene. For spoilers sake, I won’t divulge, however from what I’ve read, I got the shitty scene, which was a perfect ending to this movie going travesty. You want a good unintentional laugh and the chance to watch a moving Playgirl spread, then by all means catch this at a Monday matinee. Poop.