Zooey Deschanel, star of 500 Days of Summer, married Ben Gibbard, lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie, in a small ceremony this weekend. Hipster boys around the world hold hands in despair while the girls can’t wait to see what kind of dress she adorned on her most special day.
I, on the other hand, am overjoyed by the news of her blessed union. Now I am free to have insane Joseph Gordon Levitt and Shia Labeouf fantasies without having to worry about the cute quirky and impeccably dressed Zooey stepping in on my men. My delusions shall live to see another day.
Screen siren and star of Diablo Cody’s upcoming horror comedy “Jennifer’s Body” Megan Fox is slated to host the premiere of Saturday Night Live. I figure this will be a make or break opportunity for Fox, chance to derail the hushed whispers that she is a pretty face and talentless actress. I’m imagining she’ll play a cheerleader, a lifeguard, play herself on Bill Hader’s Italian talk show “Vinnie Vedecci Show” and inevitably get down to her skivvies in a skit or two. Oh and they’ll probably throw in a Transformer reference for good measure. My secret hope is that she’ll take a turn for the serious in one jaw dropping sketch and blow all the haters away. Either way I am deadly curious to see it all unravel and we shall soon get our chance when the new season of Saturday Night Live kicks off on September 26th on NBC.
My favorite man from Essex, Mr. Russell Brand, announced today that he would be returning as the host of the MTV Video Music Awards in September. He is still acknowledging his affections for the virginal Jonas Brothers. “I want them to play at my wedding, which, if there’s any justice in the world, will be to one of them. One of the older ones.”
I can only hope that Brand, now a bigger star in America since his last VMA hosting stint, takes the crass to the next level. For that matter, it wouldn’t hurt if he lost the clothes and did a naked tribute to Michael Jackson. I might even watch the whole telecast for that bit.