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James McAvoy and Seth Rogen in the same movie. My bizarre dreams are coming true.

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Sweet Jimmy Mac I knew you had it in you. Variety reported today that James McAvoy has signed on to star in comedic adaptation of the Will Reiser novel “I’m With Cancer.” Nicole Holofcener will direct, and the pic will co-star Seth Rogen, who is also producing.

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In the first major project McAvoy has agreed to star in since the Universal comicbook actioner “Wanted” and its upcoming sequel, he will play a 25-year-old who learns he has cancer and successfully battles the disease over several years.

After watching the BBC’s Shameless in which McAvoy costarred, I can honestly say that while he is a gorgeous stallion of a man with a 10,000 yard deathsex stare, he does have comedic chops. The pairing of these two shall be monumental and rank rather highly on the Danger Bowie spank it meter. Seth Rogen is unstoppable. I can’t wait to see who’ll he co star with next. Perhaps if the powers that be hear my eternal cries, we can expect Pineapple Express 2 with Brad Pitt joining the cast as Gary Cole’s long lost brother, who is fresh out of prison and wants to avenge his late brother death. Coming at you in 2013. One can always dream.

Observe and Report Premiere, disbelief ensues.

Observe and Report in theatres April 10th

Observe and Report in theatres April 10th

How the hell did I get so lucky? My second premiere in a month’s time and this one would be an affair to remember. I headed off to Hollywood today to get in the smelliest line of all time so that I could attend a screening of “Observe and Report starring my hero Seth Rogen. The premiere took place at the Grauman theater, a touristy place, filled with superheroes, well a man in a baggy Spiderman suit, and super villains, an authentic looking Heath Ledger Joker. Oh and 15 million hobos, a rather colorful transient bunch actually.

After an hour of standing in the relentless sun, we arrive at the front of the line, only to see Mr. Seth Rogen arriving from his limo, and I was but a mere 50-60 feet away. I practically shat myself with enthusiasm. We were then led inside the gigantic theater where we collected our free sodapop and popcorn then proceeded to make our way to our seats, which were 2 rows away from the humongazoid screen. After I apologized to my neck for the torturous craning that was about to occur, I turned around to see Mr. Rogen, who was seated only 15 rows behind me. I was getting closer.

The movie begins. The murmurs and rumors of this flick being a big change in direction for Rogen are extremely true. The part of Ronnie the tragic mall security guard with an impossible delusion and a sad outlook was far better suited for the hugely talented but much lesser known Danny McBride. The movie directed and written by Jody Hill, one third of the team who brought you “Eastbound and Down” and “Footfist Way” will not go over well with Rogen’s built in audience. Stand out performances from Michael Pena as Ronnie’s partner in crime, providing some comic relief in the first half of the flick, while Anna Faris does a great job as Ronnie’s object of desire. Ray Liotta the king of cop films does his best to keep up with Rogen’s violent superego but to no avail. Darkness, lots of darkness, but if you liked the “Footfist Way” consider this movie it’s brother film but darker. Loads of drug use, violence, blood, parental abnormalities, couple that with some vomit, sexual depravity and if your interests are still piqued, you should definitely check this out.  You’ll love it or hate it, there won’t be a happy middle. I’m apart of Team Morose because I really enjoyed this despite all naysayers. This is absolutely nothing like “Paul Blart”.

"Ronnie's got a gun"

"Ronnie's got a gun"

Alas this lovely comedic macabre piece comes to a close and we make our way towards the door, beginning to pass Seth Rogen who is hob knobbing with his peeps. I continue to move per the ushers orders but my friend pulls us back to try and get a better glimpse of Mr. Rogen. That’s when Danny McBride fell into my line of vision and my insides freaked the fuck out. I love Rogen but McBride has continuously won my heart from his portrayal of “Red” in Pineapple Express”, to “Footfist Way”, right on down to his “Kenny Powers” in “Eastbound and Down”.  Stupid fucking ushers  arrive ever so timely and we were pushed to the lobby.

Kenny "Fucking" Powers

Kenny "Fucking" Powers

We watched as Aziz Ansari, a bit player in the film, who stole a few scenes, passed us by with another dude from the “Human Giant”.  Seth with his girlfriend in tow, breezed right through the crowd and walked right in front of me. I froze. Rock solid. It was sad. They were in their limo by the time I regained consciousness. Heading toward the door my friend alerted me that Mr. McBride was heading out the door behind us. Like any good semi stalker, I held back and followed him. I whispered his name in hopes of getting his attention. Well actually I called his name and ran in the opposite direction because I’m chickenshit. My friend urged me to come back as Mr. McBride  had stopped to take pics and sign autographs with the fans. I patiently awaited my moment and as he walked away, slowly approaching him, I ask for a picture. I told him sweet nothings as we posed (on the reg), he shook my hand and laughed with me, I thanked him and he fell in with his group of peeps and vanished. I was left in a state of complete shock. Seems to be the theme of my evening.  McBride has stolen the reigns from Rogen, McBride is my new hero.

Not done yet. I walked away hyperventilating toward the elevator where our car was stored only to be met inside by Rogen’s parents and family. I only knew their identities because they were on the Jimmy Fallon show a few nights ago. Apologies for watching Fallon and for being a creep. We then chit chatted with his family about the parking situation, and had a good laugh with his dad. There were no words for my disbelief. We exited the elevator and got into our car resuming our normal lives for now. Thanks to my friend and neighbor for pushing me to greatness but mostly big thanks  Mr. McBride for making my year so far.

Monsters Vs. Aliens. Go B.O.B.

Monsters Vs. Aliens

Monsters Vs. Aliens

$16.00 was the price of my movie ticket for the 9:20pm showing of Monsters Vs. Aliens at the AMC in Century City. This is the most money I have ever spent on a single trip to the movies. Yet I am not disappointed, I am nostalgic. As I have only been to a 3 dimensional movie twice in my life, and both times I was under 10 years old. As an adult, I was filled with childish glee, an almost drug induced happiness, watching this weirdly grown up Dreamworks toon.

Now Monsters Vs. Aliens did not reinvent the wheel, however it was well paced, wonderfully animated and had a slew of jokes that crossed all age barriers. Now in order to see this movie in 3D you have to purchase a pair of 3D glasses for $4 (real cost $0.04)  which oddly enough are knock off Ray-Ban Wayfarers, endearing to children and hipsters. The previews were 3D and waht you forget as a grown up, is how giddy you get when technology starts fucking with dimensions. I imagine 2009 will go down as the year that 3D  theatrical releases force its way into your local theater because at this point, you can download any media desired on the internet, so studios will have to go out of their way to offer us a reason to pay the steep box office prices.

The movie starts by introducing us to Susan Murphy (Reese Witherspoon) on her wedding day. She finds out that her groom to be has cancelled her dream honeymoon to Paris in favor of a  honeymoon to Fresno and she is pretty bummed. As she tries to be optimistic about it when a giant meteorite crashes down to Earth and lands right on top of her. She toonishly shakes it off and runs to the alter to marry Derek Dietl (Paul Rudd) her douchebag newsanchor in training, groom to be. Before Susan can get to the vows, she starts glowing green and grows to become 49 ft 11inches.

The military led by the hardcore General Monger (Kiefer Sutherland) swoop in and commandeer the Susan the Giant, bringing her to some sort of testing facility where she meets up with her soon to be monster friends. Bicarbonate Ostylezene Benzoate or B.O.B. (Seth Rogen)  is basically a blob of goo that has one eye and no brain yet better comedic timing that most of the humans in the movie. The Missing Link (Will Arnett) is a monster from 20,000 years ago who appears to be half ape/fish with a giant ego and a big heart. Dr. Cockroach (Hugh Laurie) is a brilliant scientist who happens to be a cockroach. The last of the monsters being the gigantic cuddly Insectosaurus, the mute of all the monsters is the one you’ll care about the most. Mr President (Stephen Colbert) is the funniest human character, playing the toon President like the best of Clinton’s charm and the worst of Bush’s intellect, he also provides one of the biggest laughs of the movie. General meets with the President and they decide to send the monsters to fight a war against Galaxhar (Rainn Wilson) an evil alien who’s waging a war against Earth. The monsters fight the aliens, San Francisco is destroyed and Susan makes some big revelations.

The casting is amazing here, grouping together the best talents of our generation for an animated movie that’s a little gritty featuring some semi coarse language (boobies and pee) and a little sexual. But that’s how Dreamworks rolls and I love it, down with the G rated snoozefest “UP” Pixar family toon. Viva Dreamworks!

B.O.B (Bicarbonate Ostylezene Benzoate)

B.O.B (Bicarbonate Ostylezene Benzoate)

It’s all pretty predictable and the moral was visible from the first 5 minutes but it didn’t matter. I could count original storylines and plots from cartoon movies in the last 10 years on one hand. The way they used the 3D images is what I’ll remember the most about the movie, well second to the top notch casting. Instead of using the technology for oohs and awws, they concentrated on using the 3D for perspective, bringing to life the amazing background imagery and subtle nuissances in the animation. It was well thought out and perfectly executed, the use of this technique brought you fully into the movie because less than halfway through you forget it’s a 3D movie altogether and you just let yourself go with it. Simba’s dad doesn’t die, Bambi’s mom won’t be shot, and Dumbo will not be incarcerated in a cage, but like it or not  Monsters Vs. Aliens will still find a way into your heart,

Push On Green Hornet! Controversy sells!

Seth Rogen and Anna Faris at South by Southwest

Seth Rogen and Anna Faris at South by Southwest

“”We have no 100% official Kato at this point.”said a svelte Seth Rogen at the SXSW film festival in Austin , Texas this weekend in regards to the “The Green Hornet” film he will star in eventually The geekosphere is going batshit crazy over this news but I can not turn my back on a movie to be helmed by the great Michel Gondry and starring Seth Rogen. Casting, schmasting it will be the most entertaining flick to arrive in the summer of 20- -?

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They should start collecting video for archival footage for the DVD extras,  because the “will they? won’t they?” media coverage is going to guarantee a big opening weekend and an even bigger cult following. A fool is the geek who dare question the power of controversy, where, like the world of masturbation, a little goes a long way.

Seth Rogen, Sex Machine

Seth Rogen pictured with Pinocchio

Seth Rogen and Pinocchio

Seth Rogen is gracing the cover of the April 2009 issue of Playboy with Jason Kidd’s girlfriend. Seth is only the 9th guy ever to be on the cover of one of the most prolific nudie magazines. While Kidd’s girlfriend shows off her curds and whey in the middle of the mag, Seth gives an amazingly candid 8 page interview that is a must read if you happen to be a fan. I love Seth Rogen, so much so that I was vaguely aroused upon purchasing this beauty of a magazine pictured below, 2 weeks ago.

Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, and Seth Rogen

Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, and Seth Rogen

This delicious pic-gasm is just one of the main  reasons to champion these dudes. They lived next door to you, they played video games at the mall arcade, they masturbated to anime in the 11th grade, this guy really wanted to take you to Prom but couldn’t work up the nerve. Now look at them, guaranteed success at the box office and in the pants of a Playmate but they could care less because in the end the nerds win. Hope has arrived for us all. Three cheers for sweet revenge.

I Love YOU, Man

I Love You Man

I Love You Man

For whatever reason, I randomly called KROQ fm on Tuesday morning to attempt to win  a  4 pack of tickets to the premiere of “I Love You Man” starring Jason Segel and Paul Rudd.  This attractive duo  from the comedy mafia led by Seth””marry me please” Rogen, are killing me with the anticipation of watching this potentially insanely hilarious movie.

I never win anything ever but I wound up winning those tickets and being 2 minutes late for work. Neuroses. Long story short, soiled myself with the possibilities of occupying the same theater as these guys  and proceeded  to gloat my good fortune in the face of anyone who would listen. The premiere is Tuesday the 17th and if I don’t get arrested for attempted rape or kidnapping, I shall share my unique experience with you, the inter-web . Hell, with those criminal charges under my belt, I may as well be a NFL quarterback.