Category Archives: Movies

Fault in Our Stars

Stock in Kleenex to Rise 400% after viewing this movie.

Stock in Kleenex to rise 400% after viewing this movie.

Here’s the deal: I fought reading this book for the last 2 years. Every Lit Nerd I knew professed their undying love for the book and raved about how this text would bring light to the darkness that rested from within our tortured earthly souls. The fans were that dramatic. But I was steadfast in my evasiveness. I ran like Usain Bolt from this book every chance I got. I would not join the herd. Then last week, I couldn’t take it anymore. I saw the book propped up all high and mighty on the shelf at the front of the bookstore. Heckling me. “I’ve been a bestseller for like 25 years. I demand to be read!” it taunted me.

I offered a ubiquitous sigh to no one in particular and just like that, I gave in. I brought the book home and thought I’d page through a chapter or two and resign myself back to the Chuck Palahniuk fangirl that I am at heart. Something strange happened; I liked the first chapter too much. John Green, the author, created protagonists that were very Dawson’s Creekish in intellect, in that they were way more intelligent that any 16 year old that ever existed in reality (or even 35 year olds for that matter). Yet unlike Dawson and his crew, the characters remained very earnest and relatable. How could this be?!

Damn you, John Green. You’re the best. I wish i had you a decade ago when I was coming of age. This generation is too lucky. Your writing was delightful and unassuming and heart breaking. Reading your words and references coming from Augustus Water’s mouth made me feel smarter and patient. The way Hazel Grace dealt with her parents. How her dad cried… Peter Van Houten, the brazen alcoholic. I had been had. Three hours later, I finished the book and wept a small river into my pillow. I thought I had it all figured out from the cliched preview of the movie but like so many times in this life, I was wrong. How could you yet thank you for doing it.

I look forward to inhaling The Abundance of Katherines and Looking for Alaska as soon as humanly possible. I’ve already purchased my ticket to the Thursday night showing. All that’s left is to hit up my local CVS and buy $30 worth of Kleenex because tomorrow night’s forecast calls for a coming of age flick with a 100% chance of me crying like a baby in the back of an AMC Theater.

McBride to save Lohan?

McBride to save Lohan?

TMZ reports:

“Lindsay Lohan was such a pro on the set of “Eastbound & Down” … its star Danny McBride wants to take her talents with him … to a show he’s developing for HBO.

Sources close to LL tell TMZ … while guest starring on “E&D” Danny — a.k.a. Kenny Powers — and LiLo really hit it off. Danny was so impressed with her work he had several serious talks with her on set about a new show. He wants her to star in it.

We’re told the show is being developed by McBride and his producing partner Jody Hill. It will be in the same comedic vein as “Eastbound” … but revolve around a high school.

Our sources say Lindsay loves the idea and is hoping it works out.”

Despite my thinly veiled contempt for TMZ, I believe the story and I hope it’s true. Everyone, including Oprah, are going out on such a limb to get her back on track. It would be great if she could pull out of this and prove herself as a reputable actress. Unlike the gossip rags who thrive from her relapses—I’m rooting for a Robert Downey Jr. success story.

Good luck, Lindsay.

Barry Watson from 7th Heaven is how old?

Matt Camden

I had to triple take IMDB this morning. Matt Camden from 7th Heaven—or Barry Watson as his parents named him— turned 39 today. Seriously, I used to get the (Teaching Mrs.) tingles watching this guy every Monday night as the bible thumping Matt Camden on 7th Heaven.

See kids, Barry Watson was the original Taylor Kitsch.
Taylor Kitsch

He was the first notable incarnation of John Carter——brooding, dark eyes, shoulder-length Vidal Sassoon-ed hair. Barry was a demi-god back in ’96. I’m not sure why his star did not continue to rise after 7th Heaven left the air, but he was the champion reason why I bought BOP! magazine back in the day. Wherever you are Barry, just know that Taylor Kitsch owes you a round of drinks and pair of sneakers because without your heart-throbbing success, he could’ve never battleshipped his way into America’s heart.

Happy Birthday Barry.

Ben Affleck meet your new best friend, Ramen Noodles

Ben-Affleck

On April 29th, things are about to get real for Ben Affleck and a host of other celebrities. Live Below the Line,a campaign dedicated to challenging the way people in the U.S. think about poverty announced that Ben Affleck would be participating in this year’s Live Below the Line challenge, which requires participants to feed themselves on no more than $1.50 per day for five days next week, from April 29 to May 3.

Ben Affleck meet your new best friend, Ramen Noodles. They’re 4 for $1 at a market far from your house. And if you’d like a healthy alternative, the $0.99 Store now sells produce.

Ramen

Click on the pictures for more info about this awesome campaign.

Shia The Spy

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By now, I’ve come to recognize that due to bratty antics in and around Hollywood, my dearest Shia LaBeouf is an acquired taste—this will not stop me from crushing hard in his direction. What can I say? I like boys with chips on their shoulders. 

In the latest casting news from The Hollywood Reporter, LaBeouf will team up on a project with Robert De Niro and his former Disturbia and Eagle Eye director, DJ Caruso. Titled Spy’s Kid, the film would cast De Niro as a real-life CIA veteran convicted of spying. LaBeouf would play his son, a depressed Army discharge who ends up following in his father’s footsteps, serving as a courier of information between an Oregon federal prison and Russia.

My favorite chip-on-his-shoulder young man will pair up with my favorite grumpy-looking, older man. Swoon!

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Only God Forgives

I hit the roof with excitement when I saw this trailer for the first time a few weeks ago. Mr Winding Refn is my generation’s Kubrick—and his pairing with Gosling is just inexplicably awesome. Check out the trailer, but be warned that it gets pretty gruesome rather quickly.

Khal Drogo did time on Hasselhoff’s turf?

So I was snooping around looking for raunchy pictures of Jason Momoa (There’s no shame in my game)  when I discovered this:

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And the record skipped twice: Khal Drogo used to be a Baywatch babe? How did I miss this?

Because I definitely never missed this:

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I’d love to be his Khaleesi. Hubba. Hubba.

Dear Tom Hardy,

Tom Hardy

Damn you for making me wish I was a puppy.

Sincerely,

Danger Bowie

Whhhhhhhhhhhhhy?!

Whhhhhhhhhhhhhy?!

Pain and Gain and how I can’t get past Marky Mark’s past.

Michael Bay has done it again.

Michael Bay has done it again.

“Pain and Gain” is the newest addition to Michael Bay’s testosterone-filled, candy coated, vapid filmography. The film stars The Rock and Mark Wahlberg as poor, bodybuilders who decide to kidnap, attack, and rob a slew of people for personal gain. Based on a real story, “Pain and Gain” is experiencing major opposition from everyone involved in the real life chaos that occurred a few years ago.

Upon googling the story, I came upon a troubling news story about Wahlberg’s checkered past that I just can’t get past.

No Pain No Gain

No Pain No Gain

He led a life characterized by incidents of petty crime, drug dealing and racism.

He harassed a group of African American school kids with racist epithets, and when he was 16, again using racist language, he attacked a middle-aged Vietnamese man and left the man blind in one eye. Wahlberg was arrested for attempted murder, plead guilty to assault, and spent 45 days in jail.

And though the right thing to do would be to try to find the man and make amends, Wahlberg says, he admits he hasn’t done so — but says he’s no longer burdened by guilt.

“I did a lot of things that I regretted and I certainly paid for my mistakes,” Wahlberg says. “You have to go and ask for forgiveness and it wasn’t until I really started doing good and doing right, by other people as well as myself, that I really started to feel that guilt go away. So I don’t have a problem going to sleep at night. I feel good when I wake up in the morning.”

Marky Mark was throwing epithets at Black people! But he was a frickin’ white rapper! How does that even work? Yuck. I mean double yuck. I mean, on a scale of 1-10 how many Hail Mary’s do you have to say for blinding a man because of his skin color? 100? 1000? Jesus wept. While we’ve all done things in our youth that were unsavory——the violence and bigotry in his past just leaves me unsettled. Is Wahlberg still straight up loony tunes with a dash or two of that Dog the Bounty Hunter/Jesse James racist streak? The world may never know..

I’m baaa-ack…

danger

After a crazy-long hiatus, I thought I’d get back to my grassroots: talking about movies and the hot boys that star in them. Prepare your beautiful eyes for some intense fan-girling. You’ve been warned.